Friday, August 17, 2012

Birth plans and Parenting Styles

Deciding on a parenting style is kind of like writing a birth plan. You have an idea of what you want and pray it goes your way. With a birth plan, you are deciding the very specific details of a birth that has yet to take place. Before you know what to fully expect, you decide who you want delivering your baby, whether or not you will use any pain medications, where you deliver, who is allowed in the room, what and how much intervention you will allow, etc. You can choose to plan as much or as little of the birth process as you want. The difficult thing about planning a birth is the fact that every birth is unpredictable and unique. Because of this, birth plans often get tossed right out the window which leaves many upset mommies.

I did not have a specific birth plan. I knew that the whole process would be like exploring the last frontier. Would it be easy? Would it be difficult? Will the pain really be so unbearable? I went into my labor with an open mind, "It is what it is." I chose to make decisions based on the events as they happened. That mentality worked for me and I had a great experience.
When it came to deciding on a parenting style, my train of thought was slightly different. I had an idea of what kind of parent I wanted to be, before I was even a parent. For example, co-sleeping was something I was against before Babycakes was born. I did not want her to get into the habit of sleeping with us because I didn't want to have to deal with breaking that habit down the road. Much like many birth plans, I was not able to stick with this. Some nights we co-sleep for part of the night, others we don't at all. Right now, my style seems to be more of an attachment parenting style; something I didn't quite see coming. Even though it's different from what I was planning, I'm ok with it now.
It took me a little while to realize you can't just choose a parenting style. It's just too unique to each parent and child. So I find myself saying the same thing as earlier, "it is what it is." My parenting style will change and evolve over time and I know that like a birth plan, nothing is set in stone. I will continue to do what's best for me and more importantly, what's best for Babycakes, whatever that may come to be.

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